It’s actually quite possible to feel some kind of discomfort, especially at the beginning, or in your first time(s); but, anal sex should not be painful.
If it’s hurting you... You guys are certainly doing something wrong.
Let’s discover 10 mistakes that make anal sex painful rather than pleasant:
1. Not using lube
Not using lubricant is the biggest mistake you guys can ever make while performing anal sex. This is the surefire way to get a very painful experience... Possibly the first and the last!
Using a lubricant is NOT an option when it comes to anal sex, it is a MUST!
Your anus has not been designed for sex; therefore, it doesn’t lubricate itself. If your partner doesn’t provide enough lubrication, he will not only hurt you, but he also could tear something outside and inside of your anus causing a possible trip to the hospital.
Keep in mind that his spit would NOT be enough here. He needs to use lots of a good lubricant. Choose one specifically designed for anal sex, if you can.
So, does anal sex hurt without lube?... You bet it does!
2. Not using enough of the appropriate lube
When it comes to anal sex, using a good big amount of the best lube you can get will definitely make the difference. Don’t try to save lubricant here; the more you guys use, the easier the penetration will be, and the less painful will be for you.
Try to buy a good lubricant specifically designed for anal sex. Silicone-based lube will be your best option here because it facilitates the access and will not break the condom.
Water based is also a good option, but this is absorbed faster by the body, while the silicone one tends to last longer.
Oil-based lubricant will break the latex in the condom, and his spit is not enough lubrication for anal sex.
3. You’re not relaxed enough
Relaxation is the key for you to feel pleasure instead of pain. If you’re tensed up, the muscles of your anus will be tensed up as well, making the penetration more difficult and painful.
Relaxation is a job of both of you guys.
First, he needs to relax you by...
* Letting you know that he will be gentle enough to not hurt you.
* Assuring you that he will do it at your pace.
* Promising you that he will stop if you want to.
Then he must relax your body with...
* Lots of foreplay...
* Hopefully a nice massage...
* Even oral sex (analingus would work wonders here).
Now, it's your turn to relax...
When he’s about to start with his fingers is time for you to breathe deeply and relax your body and muscles, especially the ones on the outside and inside of your anus.
The more you are relaxed the less you will feel pain; the more you tighten up your anus, the more it closes - making the penetration very difficult and painful.
4. Skipping foreplay
Foreplay should be part of every sexual act, but when it comes to anal sex, it is crucial!
He needs to relax you with lots and lots of foreplay. It’s normal for you to be nervous about having anal sex because your anus is not specifically designed for penetration; so, this kind of sensation is not natural for you and may be uncomfortable.
Therefore, he needs to relax you the best he can to minimize the tension when it comes to the actual penetration.
Remember the more relaxed you get, the better the chances are that you can enjoy it instead of feeling pain.
5. Choosing the wrong position
Choosing the wrong position can make things harder to handle.
You guys can get all the creative you want with vaginal intercourse, but when it comes to anal sex, choose a position where you’re comfortable enough to be relaxed, as well as, a position that facilitates the access to make it easier as possible.
You shouldn't be holding the position, so use all the pillows that you need to feel stable and comfortable.
A good position for anal sex is doggy style. Have some pillows underneath your belly, so you can just lie and relax, and he can have your body lifted at an angle that facilitates the penetration.
6. Skipping using the fingers before the penis
Using his fingers helps to warm up your anus, relaxing and opening the area to accommodate something bigger... His penis.
Skipping using his fingers to slowly and gradually stimulate your anus, is like sticking his penis in your vagina with any kind of foreplay!...
No wait!... It's so much worse than that!...
When it comes to anal stimulation, he must build it up slowly and gradually, using first his smallest finger, then his ring finger.... then his middle finger, and after you have been used to the sensation for a while, then he can start trying to use his penis.
Therefore, do not let him just stick his penis in there right away! Make him use his fingers first