No, you’re not unlovable. Yes, you can have a boyfriend if you so choose. And yes, it probably is you. Or rather, something that you’re doing that’s hindering you from having a meaningful and sustaining relationship with another man. So here are 8 tips to not change you, but rather, some of your actions/thought processes that are hurting your chances of finding love.
1. Get off all gay sex apps immediately
2. Join gay groups/teams
First off, you’ll make a number of friends which is amazing. And while you may actually meet someone in the group who has similar interests to you, it’s also likely that you’ll meet their friends. Members from my gay water polo team set up teammates with their friends all the time.
3. Believe there’s a first time for everything
This has to do with modifying your thought processes. There’s something to be said about self-fulfilling prophecies. If you don’t think it’s going to happen, you’re not going to put your best foot forward and you’re going to either consciously or unconsciously sabotage yourself. You need to believe that you will find someone. It might take a month, a year, or a decade, but you absolutely will.
5. No more sex on the first date
Now, this is only for guys who have noticed a pattern of having sex on the first date and then being unable to secure a second. As we all know, a number of guys lose interest if you have sex with them quickly. This doesn't necessarily make these men “bad men,” but it might mean that you have to squeeze your hole extra tight to not let them in on the first date.
6. Don’t fall in love with the idea of him
Ohhhh, this happens a lot. You’re so desperate to have a boyfriend that after two weeks of dating a guy, you want to be monogamous and get married. No. Stop it. After two weeks you don’t know if you like someone. You just know if you like the idea of him. Don’t rush into things because you want a boyfriend badly. Otherwise the relationship will be over as quickly as it began.
7. Unfollow Instagram couples (that you don’t know)
For the love of God, unfollow all those muscle, couple hunks. The pictures they’re posting do not reveal the actual details (and struggles) of their relationship. They are not your #relationshipgoals. All they are going to do is make you feel bad for not being in a relationship.